Abs is not RED, in this picture she is in white and blue!

I am home safe. More later when the book reports (yes, plural), Greek Lexicon assignment, and readings for my other classes are finished. Until that time, I leave you with this beautiful little face:


This also is short because I decided around 3:30 to take a little nap... and then I woke up at 8:30pm. (!!!) My body is very grumpy with me right now.

Is Delta RED?

Before I lived in Chicago, I liked airports. I liked traveling. I enjoyed it.

...wait, scratch that. I have and will always enjoyed traveling... with people.

Unfortunately, this is one of those things I get to do on my own. Yes, I get to "grow from this experience." This by myself traveling, parking, figuring it out ain't fun at all. Just when I had Midway all figured out, I have to fly out of O'hare for this synod retreat. On top of that, I have to fly into the Atlanta airport and figure out how to get to the hotel where the retreat is. Mmhmm. I have so much sympathy for any of you that have ever traveled alone. SO much.

Expect phone calls tomorrow from me, friends. Expect phone calls where all I need you to do is tell a story or just listen to me ramble so I can fumble around in the airport and find where I'm supposed to go... and look less like more of an idiot because I'm on the phone. *Laughs*

In other news, L, Abi, and Kels are coming to visit me Saturday afternoon when my little retreat thing is over. I CAN'T WAIT!! I get lots of good quality time before I have to flip the whole insane trip around and come back here, to my home. :D I'm smiling, I assure you.

And beneath the smile, my chest is all tight and I'm nervous about it. The driving and finding my way part - not the flying part. That's the easiest part of the whole trip. All I have to do is sit back and watch the people here in Chicago get smaller and smaller until they are all just clouds. Yay.

Until Monday, then, I bid you farewell. Hamilton will stay at home. Books to read for book reports due next week will come with me. Perhaps even a little Greek. Or maybe just the flash cards...

White is not RED, otherwise it would be RED

So I finally figured out an appropriate description of my apartment. Have any of you seen the Producers? You know the part where Ula decides that clean means white? Well apparently, she did the painting here at LSTC, too. Basically the scene opens up and she is painting the very last bit of wall space white. The table is white. The flowers on the table are white. Everything is WHITE. Now, picture if you will MY humble apartment. Not only are the walls white, but the door frames, the doors, the cabinets, the cabinet door handles, the window frames, the door handles have their spots as do the locks, and there's even door locks painted shut. I heart it here in my little clean white palace.


I was thinking of this as I was drifting off to sleep a few nights ago. *Nods* It's still true.

Story People are Read, and they please the soul

I made it through today...

So of course all that conversation about balance has completely changed the day. Had a somewhat rough night last night and didn't sleep too well. Woke up at 6AM and knew that I needed to sleep a little longer so I got up at 7am. I've lost my ability to sleep in. I just CANNOT sleep in anymore. So sad...

Anywho, ate a good breakfast, went to yoga (which is really just stretching...), then to class, to chapel, to lunch, and home to study. When I got tired of being here alone and studying, I called up Sasha and we went for a walk! See the balance? The quiet/alone/reflective/study/indoor time then social/play/active/spontaneous/nature time? Oh, the amazing other balance I had forgotten yesterday that was profound: new vs familiar. I love it! So many different ways to balance.

Also fabulous about today was that I was introduced to Story People. Some of you may have received e-cards from me through them today. I love the quotes. They are quirky and they make me feel normal. Kind of like being around family - it explains a lot. Let me see if I can gather a handful of favorites (a steadily expanding category).

*If you can't laugh at yourself, my grandpa told me, you're not doing enough stupid things. I told him I didn't usually run out of stupid things, but it's hard to laugh that long at anything.

*Hoping something will happen soon, so she can sit down & watch it with a fresh bowl of popcorn.

*I like this place best by moonlight, she told me. During the day, it just looks like dirt.

* I don't think of it as working for world peace, she said. I think of it as just trying to get along in a really big strange family.

* For a long time, she flew only when she thought no one else was watching.

So, go check 'em out. I might have to get some notecards to feed my addiction. *Sigh* The office supply fetish raves on....

Stress is not RED, but we sure get cranky sometimes

So when I say that I've been on a lyrics kick - I think I've been lying to you. This "kick" will just never end. At least not any time soon. So, I apologize for lying to you. Welcome to me. Haha!

"Ma ma mama don't you see?
'Cause it's just one of them lonely days,
When we say how we fear that the last fence has fallen."
-State Radio

Ain't it grand? Yeah, I know. I get to see them (for the 5th time) the first weekend in October with my big brother. Remember when I ventured into downtown? Yeah, that was for the purpose of getting tickets for their show. I have also recruited my friend Corinna and her friend Barbara to go with us! Anyone else wanna go??

In other news, I had my second GIF tonight and we talked about the idea of balance. Mom, you would have loved it. The part that I enjoyed the most was the discussion about the different kinds of balance. The avenues of balance, if you will. I can easily think in the vein of the social vs personal time. Or the study/play. Or activity/rest. The newer ideas to my ways of thinking were urban/nature, planned/spontaneity, thinking/feeling (Myers Brigg), and external/internal. So, I quite enjoyed seeing which of those things were more balanced and which needed "a little" work. Fascinating.

So after discussing what was out of kilter (sp?) in our lives, we discussed our own personal tricks to alleviate some of that undue stress. Carolyn had my favorite: remember that even in our own body, processes are working constantly. Take a breath. Think about that air going into the lungs and the oxygen going out into the body into cells. The physicality of how we are living and breathing - fascinating!

Of course we talked about taking a walk, stretching, calling a friend, writing, or the other more classic stress relievers. Other ideas mentioned: affirming the areas of our lives that are going well or are in balance (at least more so than the area we are stressed about), putting it into perspective that though we have mountains of books to read... we HAVE mountains of books to read (!!!!), or remembering that even the son of God wept and asked his father to take away the task at hand if it wasn't entirely necessary. Love it...

So I'll leave you with that. I am going to read a bit and as usual, study some Greek. Oh, one last thing, we sang this song at chapel yesterday and I feel completely in love with it. It is the Canticle of Turning. Check out a blog here for the lyrics... and here for a youtube of a congregation singing the song (the only version I could find that sounds right). It is BEAUTIFUL and moving. Apparently an Irish tune. *Sigh*

Edit: Found out the lyrics are newer while the tune is older. Classic. Check out this quirky little folk song called, Star of the Country Down. (I LOVE that it has star in the title...)

Josh Groban is not RED, but he is FABULOUS

Again, for your youtube delight (though this time, not of my own doing exactly...)



My friend Tiff in an email today: "Just in case you missed this on the Emmy's the other night... you have got to have some respect for this guy after this. Even if you don't like his music."

Yes, Tiff. A hearty YES.

Greek pronouns and groceries are not RED, they are... many things

So do you ever have those weekends where you feel like you SHOULD (and yes, should is a word I SHOULD not use anymore...) be doing something important or productive or social... and you don't. At all. Like, not even a little bit?

I just had one. Well, the end of Sunday was a bit better because I actually had to be productive for class and my Internet was down (totally a God thing, I know it). Today was even better. Mostly because of the fabulous, wonderful package I got from my W's. Beautiful fuzzy homemade blankets, a picture book, star scrapbook paper, pictures, cookies, stickers and tattoos, john cusack (just a DVD... not the man himself; though I'd gladly accept...), and all of it covered in stars and luv. The package got to LSTC on Friday and someone had it and didn't let me know. So I had to wait until after chapel today to get it. Of course, I'm walking out with this package that is covered with star stickers and people are like, woah, is it your birthday...? Ha!

Thanks Blu and Co. I LOVE it. I really, really loved hearing Mads talk on the phone though. Incredible! I thought she wasn't allowed to grow up when I was gone.... but, I can't wait til it gets nice and cold to use BOTH blankets at the same time. One of them has Ariel AND stars on it. How perfect?! I know. I'm loved.

On that note, I was putting my itunes on random play this weekend and came across old favorites like Beck, Alanis, Tori, Josh Groban, and Amy Grant. Lol. Really random mix, I know. But the song that stood out and got stuck in my head was Alanis' "Unsexy." I promise I'm not trying to evoke pity, but the words fit. "I can feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful; so unloved for someone so fine. I can feel so boring for someone so interesting; so ignorant for someone of sound mind." How great is Alanis? Yeah, I need to get that new CD...

In other news, I went to the grocery store successfully, today (I know, SO productive - I had to make up for this weekend!). My new plot to make it easier: find the girl that packs groceries into as few bags as possible; illegally park in front of my apartment; put the bags just inside my front door (locked); and THEN go park the car and walk back. Worked SO well that I think grocery shopping might not be so heinous next time.

Okay, I really must go study greek. Pronouns anyone??

Peter Pan is not RED, he's a boy in GREEN

Rediscovered youtube... and was listening to this fabulous song... and, as is typical, saw how the lyrics applied to my life. So I thought I'd share. The song is from Peter Pan 2 which is altogether NOT an amazing movie but I watched it with my H girl and she loved it. I LOVED this song. So, enjoy.



Jonatha Brook - I'll Try

I am not a child now.
I can take care of myself.
I mustn't let them down now-
Mustn't let them see me cry.
I'm fine. I'm fine.
I'm too tired to listen.
I'm too old to believe:
All these childish stories.
There is no such thing as faith,
And trust,
And pixie dust.
I try, but its so hard to believe.
I try, but I can't see what you see.
I try. I try. I try.

My whole world is changing,
I don't know where to turn.
I can't leave you waiting,
But I cant stay and watch the city burn;
Watch it burn.
'Cause I try, but its so hard to believe!
I try, but I can't see what you see.
I try. I try. I try and try,
To understand,
The distance in between:
The love I feel,
The things I fear,
And every single dream.

I can finally see it.
Now I have to believe:
All those precious stories.
All the world is made of faith,
And trust,
And pixie dust.
So I'll try,
'Cause I finally believe!
I'll try,
'Cause I see where you see!
I'll try. I'll try! I'll try!
I' ll try- to fly.





...and the gorgeous baby M to finish it off. *sigh*

Transitions are....

So I keep thinking that various things have prepared me for my arrival in Chicago. The W's did a lot in their own special way. For one, they taught me to add vegetables to my mac and cheese. God bless them for that because I don't particularly enjoy my veggies... but any veggie tastes good coated in cheese and mixed in with delicious carbs. Hello!

The fire station that is a block south brings to mine my dearest little one (and a half!) year old that liked to squeal or cry at various early hours when my eyes were still shut. Oh, those adorably funny temper tantrums... So now when I hear the sirens raging just down below my (open) window as they drive past, I close my eyes and picture my Mads. *Sigh*

I'm not really sure I was fully prepared for the creaking floors. Any parallels in my former life to little noises that are fairly constant? Aside from the former ongoing soundtrack of H's comments on daily living and life, I don't think anything can properly prepare one for the staccato-ed stepping of creaking floors. Every step... you get to make a lil' noise. Ha!

And then it was UHON in general that completely prepared me for the work load of grad level classes. People keep talking about how much there is to read... and while I agree, I have to just nod my head and recognize that it is really nothing out the ordinary. Yay for ridiculously hard undergrad classes that I could never get my reading done in!! Haha.

I am so very happy that I took four useless semesters of Latin and one semester of Greek. I thought Latin was utterly useless because it is a dead language and I never learned it well. But it makes the concept of declensions and parsing and different genders and parts of speech SO much easier. Maybe that's why I like Greek so much right now... hmmm.

Whitney's addiction to The West Wing has somewhat prepared me for the sheer volume of politics here in Chicago. At least The West Wing made me ENJOY politics. And rumor has it that Jimmy Smits' character, Matt Santos, was BASED on Barack Obama (Yes, read about it). Now let's just hope that real life follows the fabulous imagination of Aaron Sorkin. It was a great last season.
*says a little prayer* (On a complete side note, I hear that my brother and I are cancelling each other's votes this november... both flipping sides from 4 years ago... and STILL on opposite sides.)

My office supply fetish is also being put to good use. I love making vocab cards for Greek and getting to sharpen my pencils and use various pens. Oh, Peter Perry's purple pens in Greek!! Each and every class we have a quiz. We self grade - BUT we use Peter Perry's purple pens. Then we hand them in and he generally gives us a little more credit than we give ourselves and he grades them in green. So awesome that I get to feed my addiction to pens and pencils and notebooks and paper. Oh!! I am getting back into letter writing. So if you haven't given me your address, please let me have it. :)

Okay, best go make some of those Greek vocab cards. How are you spending YOUR friday night??? Hahahaha... *sigh*

reading texts online is not RED, but my eyes are certaintly HURTING because of it

So today was an intense day. Long. But filled, too. Not bad, just... a DAY.

Started off with yoga/stretching. Light breakfast. New friend. Class. Eucharist chapel (a long service with communion on Wednesdays). Photos with scholarship winners. Lunch. READING READING READING. I was doing most of it online and I started to have a headache and my eyes were hurting so I decided to print the rest of it off. This required a trip to the computer lab. But apparently the default setting on the computer I was on printed of SIX of each page. So that was an embarrassing problem when I wanted to print just 10 pages....

Came home. Read. Ate a little for dinner and dashed to class. Discussed human sexuality. Came home to finish reading in time for the quiz that was due by midnight. Decided at eleven that I should start. Took me about two minutes which seems unfair after all the time I spent reading the material. But... welcome to seminary. :)

Now I'm relaxing and trying to figure out why I can't add my friends to my new Skype thing. If you've got it, I'm williams4385 so you should add me... and then show me how to do it.

I'm sorry my update isn't that exciting. I'll try to make a nice little blog when I've got the gusto to make something worth reading. Lol. Thanks for reading as always.

nothing READ, and thus my soul is fed

So LSTC had the rather clever notion to add a spiritual requirement for graduation. These are called Growth in Faith opportunities (hereafter known as my GIF). I participated in my first tonight. All about life in community. Louise joked at the beginning that there would be no homework, nothing to read, no outside requirements... aside from working on our own spirituality. This could be quiet reflection, silent or spoken prayer, singing, writing (hey, lookie here), or any number of things that feed your soul. So we gathered into the small groups we would have for the rest of the semester and introduced ourselves. We talked about a few things that each of us wanted the group to know about us. Despite our diversity and the craziness of the day, we found similarites and still peace in the noise.

... I love it.

After two and half weeks of class and packing my head full of facts, dates, greek vocabulary words, and random chicagoian tidbits on living, I desperately needed a little mental down time. And not the down time where I caught up on sleep or watched Weeds (this I did last night and really, really enjoyed the abrasive reality that it makes light of)... but down time where it wasn't about my head. It was about a different kind of listening.

Don't get me wrong, I've been laughing quite hard in my classes (mostly Greek, go P. Perry) and that makes it very bearable. But this - this was delight of my soul. *Sigh* It was so needed.

So, now I am going to go further unwind before tomorrow's big bag Old Testament online quiz. :/ Thanks to all for reading and keeping up with me. I am so blessed to have you in my life.

EDIT: Instead of working on tomorrow's quiz, I started to read for my Church and Society class. We are reading and reviewing/editing/commenting on the ELCA's social statement DRAFT on human sexuality. I thought you might want to read it with me. If so, here's the link to ELCA's site on the statement. So far, I am in section II and really loving the language. Most recently I read and liked this: "we do not ignore or underestimate the brokenness of our relationships to God or to each other." How awesome is that? Now to see how it holds up...

thoughts are not RED, they are RANDOM

Hello all. The weekend was productive but not academically. Haha. I tried to get some work done on Friday but was just not feeling up to snuff. So I did some retail therapy (found the TARGET!!!!) with Sasha and ate then ate oreos while watching Robin Williams do some stand up comedy. Saturday and Sunday were spent with the family moving my grandmother to her new place. I already want to go back and help set up more. Perhaps that is what I can spend my fall break doing? Who knows. I have yet to plan out my breaks. Who wants me? I contemplated going to NY for Thanksgiving (Pam, any thoughts?). Obviously will spend some time in TN over the Christmas break. Fall break in IL then? Or seeings friends in other cities nearby? Oh, what to do.

I don't have much to say and I have to study some more Greek for the quiz today, so I guess I will leave this entry shorter than usual. Yes, more Greek. *Sigh* But, it helps that I am really loving Greek. Perhaps because it isn't something I have to think THROUGH, I just have to memorize. And that, I KNOW I can do.

Hugs and kisses.
~Your One L

Who are you people?!?!

Beginnings are scary. Endings are usually sad. But it's the middle that counts the most. Try to remember that when you find yourself at a new beginning; just give hope a chance to float up. And it will.

-Hope Floats


So I'm wondering who my readers are. Don't be afraid to comment. It'll be okay. Who's my St. Louis reader? My NY State reader (Williams...)? My Carolina reader (Albrechts...)? Identify yourself. I'd love to hear from you. New readers from LSTC?

Also, if commenting on a blog is too scary, my email is littlebluehouse@gmail.com . So you can use that and just say hi.

Insults are not RED, but my face might have been

"Come fill my bowl with some rock and roll or some fiddler who can play.... My life is an open book, every curse and every cheer. Some days shake me, some I shook, some days I count the years."
~The Mammals

Lyrics have been really hitting home lately. This song just played on my playlist and I thought I'd share the fabulous folk genius that is The Mammals (their myspace page). They opened for Nickel Creek when I went to see them at the Ryman with my dad. They have three albums, I think. I purchased their junior album though I loved a couple tracks off the sophomore album as well.

Anywho. Rough day yesterday. Just tired and blah on top of being spiritually stretched. Of course, the blah and weariness could have been a result of the spiritual stretching....

In class yesterday morning we were discussing Genesis 2&3. I was sort of arguing against this author, Westermann, that my professor really enjoys and got the answer back, "If that works for you." Which made me dislike the professor - until he added, "I want you to be able to think for yourselves. I'm merely providing the different points of view. You have to wrestle with it." So that was... interesting. Ha. It was an argument over the serpent in Eden being just a serpent, the smartest of eden's creatures, or satan. I happen to believe quite deeply that he was satan. Who else would be so vindictive?! I am also very likely influenced by the New Testament rendering of the creation story when it talks about the ancient serpent, SATAN, that tempted Adam and Eve. It could also have something to do with the fact that I wrote my senior thesis in part about Milton's Paradise Regained and buy into his vision of the events. Not entirely - but I can roll with it. So do I not have an open mind? Am I stuck in my ways? That's not good...

*Sigh*

Rough day. So glad this is a new one.

I need to know how to live with creaky floorboards. It is driving me insane and I've not been here a month.

PLEASE.

Birthdays are not RED, unless that's the color of your cake!

Happy Birthday Big Brother!!

No, not the show.

And in honor of this day, I donned a State Radio t-shirt and gave him a birthday phone call at 7:30am (he was up, don't worry). And then I decided today would be an excellent day to try scary downtown Chicago with Henry for something special for the sibling. We made it. We did a few circles... but only a few so I consider that a success. I illegally parked Henry and dashed inside The House of Blues to purchase State Radio tickets (yes, you can laugh at me for not realizing beforehand that I was wearing a State Radio t-shirt AND purchasing tickets for their show here in October...). So I like the band.... a lot. I had to get the ever fabulous sibling a birthday present!

So... Success!!! I did it. All for my fabulous big brother who is coming to visit me in October. Hooray!!

Wordles are RED, and black and red and yellow...

Here's a link to this WORDLE. That way you can see it larger. This is a wordle of my post about Papa and Tyce.

**And here's one I made about Twilight because I am a dork...

NOTE: The links the wordle provides are crap. I have redone the links the more logical way and now you should be able to link to them. And all of my wordles in fact...

Beaches are not RED, but I still wish I were there again!

Got this picture from mom online a few minutes ago and thought I'd share since I don't think I shared any beach pictures back when I went. :)

Thanks, Blu for the hat!!

Groceries can be RED, and heavy, and bulky...

MY OVEN WORKS!! Well, actually, I am 100% positive that it does not... because they gave me a new one! Not a NEW one, but one that works and isn't actually as new as the last one. But hey, it heats up my food so I can eat it and for that, I thank God.

On a side note, one of my roommate's most common catch phrases when something goes right is "Thanks be to God!" Very fast. It cracks me up. I love it. So when she walks into the apartment tonight and I tell her "We got a new oven!!" She will declare, with her hand over her heart, "Thanks be to God" with a sigh of relief.

I was so excited about the oven that I made quiche AND cookie bread. I was also going to attempt twice baked spaghetti tonight from Whit (one of my favorites), but alas, there is not enough room in my little fridge for the leftovers. For once, I have too much to eat!

Thanks be to God. And God bless ovens. And pasta.

In other news, there is a major downside to living in the city: grocery shopping. There is a little local produce place about three blocks away which is all fine and dandy if you are picking up produce or the occasional expensive cheese, pasta, meat, etc. They have other things... just not a wide selection and at a greater cost to you. So alas, I don't shop there very much. I shop at Treasure Island which is just like Publix. They are all very helpful there and the selection is wonderful. Of course, they aren't cheap, either. They are better than the produce place.

So what sucks? That to do any reasonable amount of grocery shopping, I have to drive to Treasure Island for it is around... 8 blocks away. Or more. I'm not quite sure. Then of course, there is never parking in front of my place. Regardless, I park in the parking garage underneath campus. So I have to walk about a block anyway and then up three flights of stairs to bring the groceries in (four if you count the one I walk up to get out the parking garage).

I have GOT to find a better system for groceries.

Maybe it will be better once I actually have a stocked kitchen. I got chicken, mayo, lemon pepper, and craisins to make chicken salad. See? I remembered to get lemon pepper and mayo. Of course, I forgot the pickle relish and the lemon juice. And then I don't have traditional salt and pepper.

It goes on and on, trust me.

Just got the quiche out. It cooked for about an hour. Is that normal? Or was my quiche just very deep? I know nothing and it is so sad...

A Fine Frenzy is RED, she's a red head!

This song has been my obsession for a while now. Thought I'd share because it seems poignant to my ministry.

"Please? I know that we're different. But we were one cell in the sea in the beginning. What we're made of is all the same. Aren't we all not that different after all?"

That'd be the musical and lyrical genius of A Fine Frenzy. Check her (and the song, "Minnow and the Trout") out and let me know what you think. My friend Landry shared her with me after I enjoyed Starbucks Pick of the Day ("You Picked Me" which also has exceptional lyrics).

A Belated Post - My Goodbye Mix List

For those of you that missed out on the Goodbye CD when I left TN, I thought I'd list it out for you. This is, I guess, in case you wanted to track down any of the songs and listen to them on your own. My computer won't let me burn any more of that playlist, but I'd be happy to make you another mix... I love making mixes. :)

The Goodbye Mix - Summer 2008

(track title, artist, time)
1. Folkin' Around - Panic! At The Disco 1:58
2. Can't Get It Right Today - Joe Purdy 3:54
3. I Miss You - Blink-182 3:48
4. Keep The Car Running - Arcade Fire 3:29
5. Lately - David Gray 4:14
6. Goodbye George - Sandra McCracken 2:47
7. Hello, Goodbye - Beatles 3:27
8. Don't Kiss Me Goodbye - Ultra Orange & Emmanuelle 4:16
9. On Your Porch - The Format 5:12
10. Almost Lover - A Fine Frenzy 4:31
11. I Will Follow You Into the Dark - Death Cab For Cutie 3:11
12. Send Me on My Way - Rusted Root 4:25
13. Sticking With You - Addison Road 3:28
14. Will You Return? - The Avett Brothers 2:46
15. Lubbock or Leave It - Dixie Chicks 3:54
16. Carolina On My Mind - James Taylor 4:54
17. For Good - Idina Menzel/Kristin Chenoweth 5:10
18. Carol Ann - Michael W Smith - 3:35
19. Keepsake - State Radio 3:55
20. I Woke Up in A Car - Something Corporate 4:13

Internet is not RED, it is wireless goodness

And finally I taste the joy of having internet in my bedroom (and not across the street, 3 floors up in a scary computer lab). You can expect more frequent blogging from this time forward. And also because I now have school work 24/7 that I will be choosing to avoid as much as is humanly possible. What would you think of a pastor who slid by with C's and D's in seminary?? Kind of like the doctor who was the bottom of his class and is operating on your kid, eh? Right... guess I better go study some of those Greek vocab words, then, eh? So glad I took a semester of this stuff already in undergrad. Of course... we'll be breezing by all that intro Greek stuff at an alarming speed. So by the end of next week I'll be floundering. Lol. Wish me luck!

Rain is not RED, it is... clearish?

It is a rainy and drizzly day here in Chicago. I LOVE IT!

So my funny story is that I was fuddling with my umbrella at the front door of my apartment building... and I look up to see a pack of 20 guys, around my age, mostly topless, running in a large group down the middle of the street. IN THE RAIN.

Yeah.

I love Chicago.

I'm done with my first week of class. I have so much work to do but I feel so ready to do it. Of course, not at the moment because I am currently blogging... but you get the point. I have forgotten the last time my mind, heart, and soul were so stimulated all at the same time. How incredible it is to be here. I think it is partly the faculty and administration that make it the place it is... but also just being in the heart of a big city. Try to stay all safe in the classroom and ignore the world outside the seminary doors. Just try. It is impossible. I've seen people walk past the windows of the chapel during service. We cannot forget that God put us here for other people. We aren't a little theological bubble that builds itself up and up until we find ourselves feeling far above the world. Jesus called us to be losers and to walk with the weary and weep with the weeping. A girl did an amazing sermon about that today in chapel. How I wish I could simply record these things for all of you and share.

Well, you'll just have to visit me. ;)

Baby boys and grandpas are not RED, boys are traditionally BLUE!

That's my newest baby. That there sirs is the fabulous little 'tank' himself: Tyce Joseph.

Yessireebob, he is precious!

Was so nice to be at my surrogate home this weekend. Though I've found, it is funny the things that make me sentimental. I have been reflecting a lot lately on this new baby and my late grandfather.

I'll admit that I cried a little this weekend. I think it was a series of things, however that did it. It wasn't only driving away from my grandma's empty apartment. It wasn't only that she wasn't there. It wasn't only that she might never get to live in that apartment again. It wasn't even her friends out in the 'living room' asking after their dear friend. It wasn't even that she didn't have Papa there to support her.

See, I had made up my mind that I was going to find my grandparent's grocery store and get some 'Walnut' cheese (the place it is from is 'Walnut'... it isn't made with walnuts). And then I remembered that my mom loves their cake doughnut holes. So I figured I would stop in and grab those two things before heading back to Chicago.

I did stop by once I found it. Grabbed both items. Then it hit me. It was the weekend's stress, yes. But more than that, that particular grocery store was the location (I just accidently mistyped "love") of one of my last memories of my papa. I had just begun driving and he and agreed that I should drive us to the grocery store (and I must tell you, groceries were also important to him). He died later that year. He is also the "Joseph" that Tyce borrows his middle name from. So I am already very sentimental after having spent the weekend with family... with getting a new family addition... with seeing my grandma in a nursing home... with missing my papa... and then with having to do this all without my mother around. I cracked. I admit it. I wasn't sobbing or anything - I had to drive. But I was certainly again surrounded with the feeling or notion that family will always be HUGE in my life. Also, too, it is hard to be away from them. I mean away in all the varying senses of the word, too. I am here on my own (yes, with God).

Thankfully this melancholy did not last long. My old coffee shop manager called and we chatted for 25 minutes as I drove back to Chicago (eating my delicious walnut cheese, btw). So I guess I must continue to 'Praise God from whom all blessings flow.' I am so happy to have had Papa in my life, to have Grandma still, and to accept our newest bundle of love, Tyce Joseph. Thanks to my beautiful and wonderful family who makes each moment special in their own way with either words of encouragement, individual stories, memories, or sometimes, the quiet. I am truly blessed.

Labor Day is Red... and Blue and White!

p.s. Happy Labor Day!!


Okay. I'll go ahead and post the piece about home. Unedited. Let me know what you catch.

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On finding home - - 8-29-08

I don't know about the rest of you, but I have always struggled with the idea of home. Is it a place? A house that turns into a home in time? Perhaps it is meant to be some place that you are supposed to carry inside of you? Or perhaps it is another name for that mystical place above the clouds we think we go to when we die?

Though, to me, it seems cruel that we find home at some points in our lives and then not in others. More recently, I have begun to realize that home is entirely other and indescribable. In one of my favorite movies, Garden State, they are discussing the idea of home. Largeman says, “You know that point in your life when you realize that the house that you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of the sudden even though you have some place where you can put your stuff that idea of home is gone. You'll see when you move out it just sort of happens one day one day and it's just gone. And you can never get it back. It's like you get homesick for a place that doesn't exist. I mean it's like this rite of passage, you know... I miss the idea of it. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place.” I can sympathize so much with that; home is an imaginary place.

Who hasn't been back to a house they once called home and found it void of that sentiment? The trees are different. The front door is a different color. But more than that. Different people live there. That's not your mother, father, sister, brother, or dog running around. That's not your home.

And for everyone at LSTC, we have not always considered this place our home. We have not always considered Hyde Park, Chicago, Illinois, or the United States our home. But here we are.

As my best friend phrased it best when he wrote in his goodbye note to me, “Go make a home of all the hearts waiting for you in Chicago.” This is because we realized that home is not a building or a house or any real location you can put a push pin in on a big map. Home is the people around you.

That childhood house was home because you found family there. You played with your friends there. Your aunts and uncles came to visit you there. It was home because of the people in the house.

So in the past year, my best friend and I decided to make people our home. Not just anyone, of course. But people that get you. People that understand some small part of who you are as a human being. People that surround you and support you and celebrate you for all that you are and hope to be. People that notice the small changes in you whether you did or not. People that share their story with you and let you invest in who they are. People we find peace in.

So I guess all I have to really say is, I hope you find home here. I hope you find home in your community. I hope you find home when you go off into the world to start your ministry. And to steal the words of my best friend once again, “I hope you find home in all the hearts waiting for you.”

babies are not RED, unless there is something wrong

I just woke up after having some very vivid dreams. A mix of homes. A slew of new friends from Chicago were in the dream and we were playing some intricate card game where there were only two colors and you traded things and played in pairs... anyway. We started off in one apartment where two guys and a girl lived. And then when we went outside, we were in Chattanooga. Chicago friends... in Chattanooga. Very odd.

So this is Labor day and I am so thankful that at least some of the country has a break. I enjoy long weekends because that means I get to go visit family. It is still odd, of course, because I don't have my mother here. Maybe that's what is so odd about moving. You have certain pieces of your life that are familiar but then gaping holes in other places. Some of the STUFF is the same. Maybe even some of the PEOPLE are the same. But that's it. You go on with what you've got and make the unfamiliar the newly familiar.

I'll have to share with you the little piece about home that I wrote for the school journal thingy. I haven't submitted it yet. But I wrote it about the idea of home that we all have. So I guess that the theme is still on my heart. That and my cousins just got to bring their new baby boy home Saturday. And I cannot help but celebrate the fact that the baby does get to come home. My cousin gets to come home.

I have just been surrounded with stories about babies that stay in the hospital for weeks or months or who simply never get to come home. My friend L and I were talking about how we didn't fully realize the blessing that Abi is. She's healthy and happy. L was telling me about two babies she knew that were still sick in the hospital (one with brain damage). My Aunt was telling me about a little girl at her church that was born in January and has all kinds of heart trouble. And Songs From The High Chair linked me to a very sad blog about a baby boy names James who died last week after battling diabetes (and other things). I'm just so completely grateful that I get to be around these wonderful healthy babies that have been born this year. First beautiful Ila, then my cousin's little boy Declan, then my Abi girl, and finally sweet baby Tyce is here. Thank you God because they are all healthy.