A continuation of thought on living simply

So to add to this morning's post, I've been thinking that living simply has a lot to do with being more content with life. Last night, as I was avoiding my final Greek translation and preparing for Bethany's visit, I was cleaning. As is usual with me, I go a step beyond" picking up" and I reorganize. So I was emptying drawers and going through some piles and recycling/throwing away old stuff I didn't need. (I have a lot of magazines/Lutheran publications to read...)

I really think there's something to be said for living simply. For clearing out the clutter. There's some guy (I think he went on Oprah and got big that way?) who believes that cleaning out the clutter in your home somehow leads to loosing the excess on your body as well. Isn't that bizarre? Maybe its more about mastering the mess in your living space and then having the confidence to overcome messiness in your eating (i.e. junk food and snacking and overeating). I'm not sure. The mind is such a funny thing. I always love hearing about how placebos work for people in pain. They believe they are getting some amazing drug to cure them (when in actuality, it is next to nothing) and they are cured. Mind over matter; isn't that the saying?

I think that's another reason I'm chronically optimistic. If I don't force myself to see the bright side of things, I won't believe that a good outcome is possible. And who wants to live like that?!

So here's the science and religion clash that I love. Is it faith in listening to an all knowing God that drives a good day/good life? And/or is it mind over matter? Why do so many non-religious people like to say that religious people have made up God as a kind of mental security blanket? There's no way I made up God. He's too big. My God would look a lot different. The amazing Kurt Hendel (a professor here at LSTC) says that we should get worried when our idea of God starts to look a lot like us. So true. So true!

I'm happy that my brain lives in both worlds. I can pray for mental clarity and focus. So I'm asking God to intervene in something that science is constantly trying to explain (the link between the body and mind). I don't believe that my God is merely a God of the gaps... but a God of the whole picture. I've always been uncomfortable with that God of the gaps theory. Basically, it makes us look weak. We trust science over God... until we don't get it. Then God's the backup plan. That doesn't make sense and I'm sure it pisses off god.

I guess I just choose to believe God's been in the midst of it all along and is still in the midst of it, even when we can scientifically prove something. Know what I mean? In other words, God's there when we can't figure out the next step... and he's still there when we are ten steps beyond. Hmmm... I'm going to stop now because I'm beginning to sound really preachy!! Oh no!!

Thanks for reading. Talk to you soon.

~1L

On discovering truths

Good morning world.

So I think sometimes I really do just honestly forget that God is with me. I know that sounds incredibly cheesy - but its true. On my bad days, the days when the world is out to get me, I am completely alone. Everything is annoying. All my friends. All my things. Everything. Then I trip up the stairs, my phone dies, I'm late to class, I'm late to work, I forget to do something else, and the mistakes and grumblings just start piling up.

Yeah... that was yesterday. It was pretty terrible. Then I started texting my friend Rob last night (after charging my phone) and he said something about talking at God... and that she let him call it praying. It made me realize I had been talking at God for at least a few weeks. Thinking I was the shit and had everything together and was a grown up.

Hahaha.... no.

Turns out, I'm only on top of the world when I'm listening. Because I'm listening. Because I'm not "in the driver's seat" - so to speak. THOSE are the good days. (Good morning...)

I sat up in bed after my first alarm and was out of bed after the second. I am dressed. I am eating breakfast. Then I'm going to finish up some Greek.

God did it. I've learned just how dependent I am on her. Which is great... and such a challenge. I thought yesterday, in the middle of class, in the middle of a frustrating discussion about Jesus' death on the cross, that I will never be able to be comfortable in my faith. I will always be newly challenged to discover something... to act on God's behalf... to love bigger... to learn a new aspect of God's character...

The list will never end. There's some frustration there, but I'm also delighted. Who wants to be a part of a religion they've figured out on the 3rd day? Nah. I rather enjoy this God. She's pretty damn good to me.

On visiting. Or dates to travel to you.

So here's the deal, friends. The rest of the year is booked... rather, I know when I have school and when I don't. It's looking like I have a limited number of weeks off (welcome to real life, eh?). So I wanted to share with you and discuss my plans thus far. Keep in mind that for the Spring Semester, I have classes Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday only. So all my weekends could potentially be 4 day weekends (with prep time and/or recovery time from trips).

*J-term ends Thursday. I get a week off before the Spring term starts on Feb 2nd.
--This is already loosely planned. Bema's coming to visit me!! She'll arrive on Friday and leave on Sunday. I'll kick around here for a few days then go with Sally to her hometown Thursday and Friday. I plan to read for pleasure the entire week and watch movies. NO GREEK!!! Then I'll be rip roaring ready to start a new semester.

*Spring semester has two week-long breaks. The first is our Reading week from March 2-6 and the second is Easter week from April 6-10. Em's getting married on the 18th of April, though, so I'll be in Chattanooga the next weekend after Easter.
--As of yet, I have no plans for Reading week. Nikki talked about visiting and we discussed a Shana visit. Mom also mentioned coming up for a weekend trip around then. Thoughts?
--For Easter, I'm thinking family time down in Washington instead of traveling to TN twice in a row. Yes? No?

*Spring Semester ends May 15th (though classes are done May 8th). Graduation is on the 17th and I've promised to be there. After that, I've got about two weeks before CPE (Clinical Pastoral Education) starts.
--I'd like to spend the two weeks after school is out in TN but I need to get my things moved out of my room here on LSTC campus. I'm not sure how that's going down yet since I won't be in Chicago for the summer.

*CPE runs for a marathon of 12 weeks from June 1st to August 21st. That's my summer. 40+ hours a week. Thankfully, I will be a 1/2 hour from family for easy recovery. :D

*Not sure exactly when the Fall Semester starts up again but I'm thinking around Labor day again. There will be a fall break (still open of course) and a thanksgiving break (Sibling and I are planning on NY with family). Then for December I will be off again. I'm not sure what December looks like, though, as I will be involved with MIC (Mission in Context) my Middler year. So I'll be tied to a church throughout the year. I'll have to ask a Middler if this lasts through the time when school is out. Hmm...

----------------
So that's what my year looks like. Depressing amounts of time off. At least I'll have longer weekends to do things. Corinna and I are taking a long weekend to go to San Francisco for her birthday around Valentine's weekend. We found a really good deal on a flight and hotel so we booked! I'm generally not that spontaneous but I've always wanted to go and I won't have her around next year (she's going back to Germany - the nerve!).

So yeah... let me know when you are visiting. PLEASE VISIT!!!!

Selfishness rears its ugly head

So this may be incredibly selfish and a complete waste of time... but I thought I'd create a wishlist. Since I'm perpetually a poor student, I thought I'd compile a list of things I need/want. So if you ever find yourself randomly wishing to get me something... you are more than welcome. My birthday is still a ways away, though. Anyway, it's fun to dream a bit. :D

1L's Wishlist
*Coldplay's newest album, Viva La Vida
*A Laptop Sleeve. I carry it around by itself a lot.
*Mates of State's album, "Re-Arrange Us"
*DVD's (Wanted, Phantom of the Opera, October Sky, PBS' Sense and Sensibilty - 2 discs, Hook, Billy Elliot, The Departed, The Holiday, 300, Casino Royale)
*Bean Bag Chair (or similar concept) for my room
*For you to visit me. :D


Or things to send in a care package anytime:
*Anything with stars on it. Or made in a star shape. Or a star if you can get one!
*Knee socks are always good. Target's are generally amazing.
*Those little packs of crystal light to add into water bottles. Any flavor. (Though Green Tea with Raspberry is the best!)
*PENS!! Sharpies!! I like all things that come out of Office Depot, Office Max, or Staples.
*I don't generally do gum because of my TMJ... but mints are great. Specifically NOT peppermint. Spearmint makes me happiest...
*Dollar bills. Seriously. I'd be thrilled with a few tangible dollar bills. I never have cash!
*Gift cards. They are boring but FANTASTIC. I've got Borders, Office Depot, Starbucks, Subway, Dunkin Doughnuts, and CVS nearby. Target is an easy drive and a frequent adventure out of Hyde Park. And itunes is right on my computer!! Sweet...
*Coffee! Whole coffee beans that is. My fabulous mother got me a french press for Christmas! So I get to have fresh french pressed coffee right here at home! Yum....
*Snacks in general are heavier to mail but I'm a fan of any cookies, popcorn, any flavor Teddy Grahams, muffin mixes, rice cakes, craisins....
*Pictures!! ...of you... to put up in my room!

"Oh the weather outside is frightful..."

I really think this sums it up best:



Most specifically, his face. Well, that and all those negative numbers that denote the coming weather.

Don't worry. I'm staying warm. I've got my big winter coat. My fuzzy boots. Lots of scarves. Mittens. Gloves. Hats. Layers....

Broadway Music makes me :D

I don't know if this will apply to the rest of you... but since this blog is about me I guess it's okay to be completely ME focused?? ....but every now and then, I just have to sing/scream a little Broadway. There's nothing like singing "Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!!!" at the top of your lungs along with the cast of Spring Awakening. I mean, really - there's little cooler than that.



Skip to time 2:40 to go to the "Blah blah blah" section of the song.

TN to Chicago - - the DRIVE

This is belated. But... what can you do?

My drive from TN to Chicago took me 12 hours. Give or take a minute. Here's the trip in list form (of course).

5:15am
(central time - it was 6:15 Johnson City time) - Out of bed
5:30am
Said sleepy goodbyes to Brooksies and am out of the house.
6:07am
Realize I have forgotten my laptop. Consider options... turn around. Mind you, there is a freak snow storm going on and people are off the road and traffic is forming. More about this later.
6:35am
Pick up laptop. Leave again.
6:42am
Chick-Fil-A is open! Hooray for breakfast! Mm...
7:50am
Finally out of stand still traffic. Apparently Tennesseans really can't drive in snow.
8:08am
See billboard depicting Starbucks ahead. Yes, that sounds amazing!
8:12am
Negative. This exit has NO Starbucks. The sign lies!! At least I got gas for $1.49.
8:21am
Back on track. Yes, the Sbux/Gas detour took me that long.
8:50am
Potty break... and low and behold - A STARBUCKS!!! I found it completely by accident to. Or should I say by divine appointment... haha!
10:30am
Arby's stop in Renfro Valley for a Jr. Roast Beef. Mmm..
11:10am
Breezed through Lexington onto I-64 West.
11:30am
Rest stop for bathroom, map, snack.
11:37am
Pass a speed detection sign on the road and realize I should/could go faster.
11:50am
Passed a cop. Slowed back down...
11:51am
Just realize my tags are expired. Hope no cop realizes as well...
12:08pm
Cracker Barrel in Louisville. I'm tired!
12:09pm
...next to a Garden Ridge!!?? Jackpot! I love Louisville!
1:00pm
That I-65 sign gives me two options: Nashville or Indianapolis. This choice sucks.
1:01pm
Pretty bridge!
2:05pm
Gas for $1.82 - boo.
2:33pm
Officially bored.
2:56pm
Temp down to 40 degrees. So far the day started at 33, 30, 47, 40....
3:59pm
Rest stop! Hallelujah!!
4:21pm
Enjoying the last bits of sunshine. Temp down to 31....
4:42pm
Just passed a sign that said "Jesus is REAL."
5:34pm
HOME!!! Well, to my Chicago home. It is quite chilly.

I am an excellent procrastinator. Now it's making me cry.

I must be procrastinating - I'm making lists again.

List of things I've done instead of Greek this weekend:

*Tromped through mounds of snow with Sasha to the bookstore and back, to Leona's and CVS, then back. It was a bit rough out yesterday.
*Cleaned off the star tray table Kari made for me and edited it with black sharpie.
*Made a list of things I love. *COMING SOON*
*Played The West. This is traditionally sibling's site but I'm getting into it.
*Watched Penelope (a great little movie... with James McAvoy!! Hooray!!).

*Then watched James McAvoy in Macbeth in Shakespeare Redone on netflix.
*Shaved my legs. Pretty exciting, I know.
*Hung out with Kendra's cats and watered her plants (my 2nd Jan. job - I have so many keys!).
*Went to church.
*Took out the trash. Did some dishes. Made some eggs.
*Put a band aide on an almost healed wound just so it would heal pretty. Silly hot oven at Christmas....
*Played Maze Stoppers, Castle Wars, and Shift 3 --- on Kongregate, my favorite website for free online games.
*Reorganized the kitchen cabinets.
*Blogged this list.
*Ate some Cinnamon Puffins.

On Snow. Salt. And a little about pizza.

Snow's pretty. Snow's ugly. Snow is blissful. Snow is depressing.

ALSO, do you ever think of how many words we have to describe how it is snowing? I mean, I know the thing about eskimos and their words for snow... but we have a lot ourselves. Not only can it be "snowing," but it can be dusting or storming, it can be a blizzard! We have "wintery mix" and "freezing rain" to go with what it is once its on the ground - SLUSH. I hate slush. It is brown and watery and gets in your shoes and makes puddles. When the weather doesn't cooperate it turns to ICE! Slush is just no fun.

God bless salt!! I now have a new found ironic appreciation for that passage (in Luke?) about never loosing your saltiness. Salt of the earth type stuff. I adore salt. There's even colored salt! I saw blue salt in front of the little kids school down the road. Fabulous. I want a bucket of it just for kicks. Er, for fun. I don't literally want to KICK the bucket... or figuratively!

There is definitely a bonus of living in student housing - my sidewalks get scraped of their snow before I'm even up. The downside is that the scraping happens right down from my window BEFORE I AM EVEN UP. So god bless you sir for scraping off my sidewalk so I can walk to class safely... but do you have to do it SO early?? There's just no sleeping through SCRAPING metal against concrete. None.

I did think today, as I was walking to class and the sun was catching a nice undisturbed pile of snow, that it sparkled. It glistens! How cool is that? (Like Edward....)

Anywho, I'm going to go celebrate not having to translate Greek by walking to go get pizza at Giordano's with friends. Yay!

p.s. got my 1st quiz back today - I got a 95!!

"If you have a heart at all..."

I'm cynical. Well, mostly I'm optimistic and hopeful but I have my moments. This is the one I just had:

A forward going around about a woman's who's little boy's best friend has cancer and could you please sign this. She wanted to gather 1,000 signatures and then put it up for the little boy.

I was going to, I honestly was. Until I read the additional paragraph that I had not read before (as I assumed it was redundant). And I quote, "If you have a heart at all, you will sign this and pass it on."

Well now I most certainly will NOT sign this little prayer petition and pass it on. I'm sorry. Or rather, I'm sorry for her. If she wanted me to pray for that kid, that's fine. Sign a petition to show that I'm praying, that's fine. Great even. Good idea! Until she tagged it, "If you have a heart at all."

1.) You cannot GUILT people into praying for you. What kind of prayer is that?! That's not what my God is about. Yours?
2.) You should not GUILT people into doing anything for you... especially if you don't know them! Especially through an email!!
3.) Of course we all have hearts!!! NOT signing this little email forward does not mean that I don't have a heart (or the 800 other people who at some point or other in this chain's history have deleted it). If you want to call me a heartless brat for not forwarding it on, then so be it. I've still got a heart, though.

Thank you and good night.

HARRY POTTER!!??!!

http://www.harrypotterexhibition.com/

Just thought everyone should have another excuse to come visit me this year in the fabulously fridgid Chi town.

...I told you 2009 is going to be fabulous, didn't I?


p.s. why yes, I AM avoiding translating Luke. How ever did you guess?

On New Things... to go with the New Year

So I really wonder what has come over me. Last new years wasn't like this. Well, maybe. I was packing to begin my adventure with the W's and planning my years at seminary. So... perhaps. But NOT like this year has been so far. Of course we are only a few days in... but that is entirely beside the point.

To start with, I reorganized my room - again. I like to do it. Makes the small space feel more livable. That and I brought boxes of stuff with me and the room needing revamping anyway. It is all sparkly clean aside from some random "stuff" boxes that have to exist because there is no home for their contents - yet.

So, for you, a tour of my *new* room. Or an introduction to it since most of you have never seen it. :)

First of all, a slice of my bed, the main door to my room (beware, there are three doors!), the bookshelf from Karen, my yoga mat, and then my shoe tree filled with scarves, hats, hippo, and gloves. I got tired of draping scarves all around the room or taking up precious space on my coat rack that goes over my closet door. So when I was scanning the aisles at the ever fabulous Target, I thought, "I could put a scarf in each pocket!!" - That and I was also looking for a place to put my hat, my gloves, and the detachable hoods from my winter coats. Voila!! And even Hippo and my Valentine's bear from my fiancee (Nikki, who is, of course, married now to Adam) got a little nook to call their own.

You will also notice that cluster of stars. So like me, isn't it? Yes, I know. I'm predictable. But hey, they make me happy. Oh! It is the season of Epiphany at church now so we are talking about the baby Jesus and the wise men finally arriving, etc. They read one of my favorite biblical star lines during the service: "And when they saw the star, they were overjoyed." Man, those wise men were wise! So really... I'm just following in their footsteps by liking stars. Right? Ha!

Continuing the tour...


Yes, this is my closet. It is quite large, in fact. It helps make up for the tiny bedroom. Haha. I decided it needed to be its own little nook - thus helping my room feel larger. So I reorganized it. You should note several things: 1.) Shoes that I actually use are in the shoe hanger thingy = no shoes on the floor! 2.) My star tray table from Kari will now hold my hobby things. They have a home!! This is for knitting and... wait for it... GUITAR!!!! Do you see the guitar case? Yeah, Janai lent me her 2nd guitar to learn on and I'm teaching myself to play. Bizarre, I know.

3.) On the far left, my *new* bathrobe, towels, an apron and various pjs hang on the over-the-door-hook-thingy. 4.) What you can't see? On the other side of the door is rack to hold my coats and purse. I seemed to have a small problem putting jackets next to clean towels before. It just creeped me out a little. :) This is a much better situation.

Let's see what else I can take a picture of... Oh! My desk/dresser wall!

What you may not be able to see is a fish bowl. Yes, that's right. Michael came back with me to Chicago!! He's over a year old. What a good little Beta fish...

Also, that is NOT a Starbucks cup sitting by my laptop. Of course, if it were.... you should know that it only has one pump of caramel syrup in it in compliance with being healthy. So basically its some soy milk, 30 calories worth of caramel goodness, and decaf espresso. I'm being good; I promise. :)

My desk chair is wrapped in a fabulous blanket from my fabulous coffee shop customer, Jennifer. The chair is actually a stained 70's mustard yellow. It needed some love...

So that's a little tour. My radiator is directly to the left of my desk and then directly to the left of that is the window on the next wall. That wall has my mirror and then the door to the little porch-nook-thing that we use only for storage because it's freezing and it leaks dust droppings from the ceiling. Creepy!! Other people who have better setups use it as an office or a little library. Quite cool, actually!

Okay, it's getting to be dinner time. Niveen made lunch (spinach something or other with lemon salt over rice - yum!). So, I'll be making dinner!! Oh, here's my fabulous roommate, Niveen. :D

On New Years Resolutions

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! 2009 is going to be amazing. I have a good feeling about it.

What is it about new years that makes us all giddy and happy? A clean slate so to speak? A brand new start? Out with the old and in the with new? I don't know exactly... but I like it!

Like the rest of the country, I have decided to take better care of myself. I've gotten pretty good about balancing me time vs. people time. I'm okay with doing enough new things mixed with familiar things. I'm balanced in a lot of areas - now it's time to deal with my body.

I did weight watchers years ago with my best friend. We both lost tons of weight, mostly through eating right. But through college and especially through this last year or so, I've given up on a lot of those healthy eating practices. Not reaching for the lower calorie choice, eating later and in larger quantities, less fruit (I've never been good about vegetables...), and so on. I wasn't stressed about the weight gain though because ultimately I love my body no matter its state and I never want to compete with the ridiculous classical beauty image.

Mom and I joke and say, "And we wonder why we are fat!!" as we munch on spritz cookies or eat another bit of brie on a cracker. Last time, I countered with, "I don't wonder! I know exactly why. I love food!" So this is not about loosing weight, per se. This is about taking better care of my body. Feeding it good things. Not things packed with fake sugars or diet drinks or overly processed things (which was easy the first time around - now I hate the taste of sugar-free anything). Things to help it run more efficiently (and longer). I'm tired of feeling tired so much of the time. I'm ready to have energy - and I'm going to need it this summer and next year... and into my ministry.

So my new years resolution is not to loose x number of pounds or x inches from my waistline - it's to take better care of me. Hopefully I can get it more active as well, though my inclination in this cold weather is to stay indoors and curl up on my bed with a book. Anyway, it is better to change one thing at a time. I'll start feeding myself better and hopefully will then have the energy and motivation to start exercising regularly.

I'm excited - I am. I'm munching on some apples and pb now with a side of graham crackers (hey, I have to use up whats in the pantry). For lunch, I had a delicious spinach tortilla with turkey, hummus (Thanks Niveen!), tomato, lettuce, avacado, and even some carrot thinly sliced. This idea is thanks to my fabulous sibling who made me a similar snack one night at his place. This morning was a Palestinian breakfast. Niveen made cornbread and we had humus of course. Then bread with zata on it. Then there were tomatoes around the humus as well. Delicious with hot mint tea! I also had a cereal bar sometime this afternoon before I went to the grocery store because I was starving. But hey, I'm working on it!!!

Keep me in check people. HEALTHY is the goal. Skinny is merely a side effect (and one that I am, of course, hoping for).