On discovering truths

Good morning world.

So I think sometimes I really do just honestly forget that God is with me. I know that sounds incredibly cheesy - but its true. On my bad days, the days when the world is out to get me, I am completely alone. Everything is annoying. All my friends. All my things. Everything. Then I trip up the stairs, my phone dies, I'm late to class, I'm late to work, I forget to do something else, and the mistakes and grumblings just start piling up.

Yeah... that was yesterday. It was pretty terrible. Then I started texting my friend Rob last night (after charging my phone) and he said something about talking at God... and that she let him call it praying. It made me realize I had been talking at God for at least a few weeks. Thinking I was the shit and had everything together and was a grown up.

Hahaha.... no.

Turns out, I'm only on top of the world when I'm listening. Because I'm listening. Because I'm not "in the driver's seat" - so to speak. THOSE are the good days. (Good morning...)

I sat up in bed after my first alarm and was out of bed after the second. I am dressed. I am eating breakfast. Then I'm going to finish up some Greek.

God did it. I've learned just how dependent I am on her. Which is great... and such a challenge. I thought yesterday, in the middle of class, in the middle of a frustrating discussion about Jesus' death on the cross, that I will never be able to be comfortable in my faith. I will always be newly challenged to discover something... to act on God's behalf... to love bigger... to learn a new aspect of God's character...

The list will never end. There's some frustration there, but I'm also delighted. Who wants to be a part of a religion they've figured out on the 3rd day? Nah. I rather enjoy this God. She's pretty damn good to me.