...and then sometimes you are silent.

So that whole post about speaking up for yourself? I still believe it... but God, of course, loves irony. So God taught me that there are certainly moments when the hardest thing to do is simply to let it go. To stop fighting. To stop working against the things that break your spirit.

No, I'm not talking about being an advocate for those that need a voice. I believe that is hard as well, but THOSE efforts actually do some good. When you continue to fight against those kind of weights, it makes sense. Of course it is difficult. This is why it takes people lifetimes and loud voices the change the world. (Also keep in mind we are all uniquely gifted - you may be passionate about protecting children... and not about saving rain forests. If you aren't going to weekly committees on how to save the rain forest, it doesn't mean you don't care! The right fight won't weigh you down like the wrong one will.)

Maybe shedding some light on my situation will help explain it. Remember I told you about that old friend I was working up the energy to tell off? Well, I composed a note and upon review, my wise mother said I was just expecting another response. It was a profound realization in a way because I knew that I just wanted to hear "I'm sorry for treating you like that." Then again, even fighting words would have worked - it would have meant there was still some life in our relationship. So instead of my biting (but kind!) reply, I let it lie. I didn't say anything. I just let it go. It wasn't a battle worth fighting. It wasn't a relationship worth my time. I've found better; I've found worthier; I've found more loving friends.

So I guess I just had to qualify the last post and say that sometimes the fight doesn't take you anywhere. Sometimes the true way to stand up for yourself is to let go of the ones who pull you DOWN.

So I did. Though part of me wonders if I would have gotten a reply, I know in my heart that I was tired of being the one to keep us going.

It also helped that another old friend called just to talk. Called to recommend a movie actually (that I own and love - so he knows my tastes!) but we just talked for a while. So I think part of it was putting into perspective THAT relationship with the one I was fighting for. I know that good relationships take effort and energy but I also think they shouldn't always feel like work. So the delight in getting a phone call out of the blue was nicely contrasted with the future disappointment I would have of NOT getting a response (yet again). So I decided which relationship was worth my effort.

I'm happy with my choice.

So friends, let it go. Whether it be a project that you have guilt about not completing yet or an ongoing commitment that weighs you down (no matter the cause), LET IT GO. The freedom is profound!