The Lonely Blog Discussion Act II

(See Act I - Thanks to George and Mom for responding to Act I. Please fell free, all of you, to continue responding to act I. Act II is just more food for thought.)

So aside from Luther getting married and ruining my happy-being-single status, this TX pastor encouraged the married couples in his congregation to have 7 days of sex. The media response to this has been hilarious. Paragraphs like this, however, are not helpful:
"Once you factor out venereal diseases, there’s almost nothing better for you than regular sex. Judging from the many studies on the subject, a daily romp is healthier than yoga, a five-mile run and a handful of multivitamins combined. Sex has been shown to ameliorate memory, posture, depression, anxiety, insomnia, menstrual cramps, digestion, bladder control, dental health and the sense of smell."
Here's the whole article which has a link to another article about it. Apparently the singles were told to eat chocolate cake....

Thanks, Pastor.

And of course all kinds of ignorant people are making fun of the pastor, the congregation, the Christians, the writers of stories about this, etc. I'm not. I think it is charming. There's something to be said for this kind of challenge. Something about faking/forcing intimacy breeding real intimacy. Why do you think so many Hollywood couples are formed when they are making movies together? Sure, you are spending a lot of time around each other, but you are also pretending to be in love. There's a vignette in Paris I Love You, as well. "By pretending to be a man in love, he became a man in love." It's beautiful.

Guess this means I can't cuddle with my guy friends? Isn't that always why the friends with benefits thing never works? Anyway, I'm just frustrated, I guess. I'm not allowed to have intimacy because I'm single. I feel like that is what it comes down to. So pushing aside all other reasons to be in a relationship, I think this one can stand on its own for most people. A lot of my friends at seminary are in long distance relationships. A few of them are simply waiting for their significant others to join them in the city while others are seeing how the distance will affect the relationship. Two weeks ago, my friend had her boyfriend visit her. It was nice, but then he went home. She was saying she was frustrated because the one person allowed to touch her was 1,000 miles away. There's truth to that! You can only have so many hugs from your good friends. It simply doesn't fill the need, the void, the quota, whatever you want to call it.

I get most upset with God when he feels far away and distant. Sometimes I feel like He's some God sitting above us in the mist. Whatever he is, he isn't sitting here holding my hand. So I completely understand why the Israelites in the Old Testament made a golden calf. Look, something we can put our hands on. Something "real" before us! Even Adam who had God walking with him in the garden wanted something else. Something more than an animal. Something different than the intimacy of God's knowing every part of him and the holy spirit being with him at every moment and never being alone. If Adam asked for someone, I can justify my own asking.

So maybe this issue isn't about having or not having a spouse somewhere down the road. Maybe it is an issue of being happy with what I've got. Being happy, er, content, with the present. (Isn't the joke that "the present" is "a gift" after all??)

To add to that, I am pretty content where I'm at. I love being in seminary. I love being in Chicago (as long as TN still lets me visit..). I love my family. I love my friends. Life is actually pretty good right now. Everyone I am catching up with asks how things are. It is so easy to answer "wonderful.... really wonderful." Of course I qualify that with saying that God is really stretching me and I have to learn a lot every day about God's kingdom and my place in it. All the same, life is pretty good. God's been good to me. I have abundant blessings to weigh against the challenges I'm facing.

I don't remember where I saw or read this, but I really loved it. I believe it was a sermonette about Adam naming the animals and it taking him years. We easily skip over that bit in the bible before Eve arrives. The speaker said that to name all the animals we have today, it would take three years of constant work to do it. At least. So Adam asked for Eve. God gave him work. He did it. Then God gave him Eve. Not as a result of doing the good work, but to make Adam appreciate the person he was getting.

Gives a whole new spin to my justification, doesn't it? Perhaps that is why I love it. It is a more complete answer to my question of why I'm still single. I'm busy working is all. :)