Matthew 26:36-46
Then Jesus went with them to a place called Gethsemane; and he said to his disciples, "Sit here while I go over there and pray." He took with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and began to be grieved and agitated. Then he said to them, "I am deeply grieved, even to death; remain here, and stay awake with me."
And going a little farther, he threw himself on the ground and prayed, "My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me; yet not what I want but what you want."
Then he came to the disciples and found them sleeping; and he said to Peter, "So, could you not stay awake with me one hour? Stay awake and pray that you may not come into the time of trial; the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak."
Again he went away for the second time and prayed, "My Father, if this cannot pass unless I drink it, your will be done." Again he came and found them sleeping, for their eyes were heavy.
So leaving them again, he went away and prayed for the third time, saying the same words.
Then he came to the disciples and said to them, "Are you still sleeping and taking your rest? See, the hour is at hand, and the Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. Get up, let us be going. See, my betrayer is at hand."
In front of the tomb where Lazarus was laid, Jesus was deeply moved and wept. He wept with Mary and Martha and the Jews who came to grieve with them. And part of me is thinking that is strange. After all, he knows that in just a few minutes, he will call Lazarus from the tomb. This is his plan. This is something he knows is going to happen. And yet, he weeps. It is by far one of the most comforting stories for me, knowing I worship a God who weeps with us in our sorrow, even if God knows great joy is on the horizon.
As we move towards Palm Sunday and into Holy Week, we remember these final days. The entry into Jerusalem, that last supper, these garden prayers, the betrayal, the cross, the grief. All the moments that happen before a joyous resurrection.
This moment in the garden is particularly beautiful because it shows us a very human Jesus. One who is pleading with God and asking if there is any way the coming events don't have to happen. Have you ever prayed prayers like this? Think about your story and find one moment when your prayers were similar. These type of prayers show up at certain places in our lives, often when a big change is happening and we know our lives will never be the same.
As we remember these final days, I wonder if we can NOT think about the resurrection just yet. I don't want to skip past the pain of these garden prayers or the betrayals or the cross. Because there is something unique in this part of the story that we rarely get to dwell on. So often the good news is the resurrection, the new life in Christ, the bliss of Easter morning.
But there is good news here, too. Good news in a God who weeps. Who is deeply moved and filled with sorrow. A God who does not try to cheer us up and tell us that good days are on the horizon but simply sits and prays and weeps. THIS is a God I can relate to.
I think about these final darker days when people say we should live a life like Jesus. What they mean, typically, is that we should have faith in God and we should love people like Jesus did. What I think of, is that being a Christian and being called to live like Christ means that some of our days will be very dark. We will be on our knees in a garden, praying that this would pass. Praying to God to make anything other than the outcome happen. Praying for a different ending or a solution that hurts less. We pray for escape of some kind from the life we are living.
Welcome to Christianity. Where we come to suffer with Christ. Where we welcome a God into the midst of our pain, not because the pain will vanish with God's arrival, but because God knows what we are going through. And not in that fake assuring way when someone says, "I know exactly what you're going through." God, on the other hand, knows and chooses to be with us in the midst of it.
There have been a few times in my life that I have prayed desperately for the cup to pass from me. The first one I recall was when I learned about my parent's divorce. I wept. I remember my grandfather's death. I remember the tearful prayers before I left for seminary. I remember my first big heartbreak. I remember a lonely Saturday evening in December struggling with loneliness here in the middle of Montana.
Often what I needed in those moments was an anchor to hold on to when I felt like my entire world was changing. My life was shifting and would never again be the same. It was uncomfortable. I was afraid. And then life moved on as it always does. Those changes are still part of me - a huge part of me. But I know a God who walks with us through the valley of death and does not skip ahead to the horizon.
Have you ever prayed a prayer like Christ did in the garden? Asked for a different solution? For relief from overwhelming sorrow? What kinds of situations have you most often prayed these prayers?
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