Happy Endings

My mother linked me to this article about the nature of endings from Psychology Today. Let's just say that I have a difficult time with endings. From that list in the middle of the article about WHY we have difficult with endings, I mentally checked:

*You can't tell if an ending is actually necessary, or if "it" or "he" is fixable
*Being afraid of the loss and the sadness
*Fearing the unknown
*You fear hurting the person

What's ironic is when he asks, "Consider how you look at endings in general. Do you perceive them as natural? Do you have a world view that everything has its season and life cycle, or do you think that if something comes to an end it means that "something must be wrong?"

I definitely see life as cyclical and seasonal, etc. I work a lot with death and dying issues on my internship. End of life is not this tragic, sad event but a celebration of life. Yes, there are tears, but they come in many forms. I am thankful and grateful for the lives that have been lived.

So why are other endings so difficult? I think death and dying might have something to teach me about relationships that end that I need to let go of. About projects and dreams and things that I would be healthier and happier to let go of. (On a side note, my mind just went to a political cartoon I saw with a chainsaw GOP and a potato peeler Obama...)

Step one: not seeing those things ending as failure.

And there's this whole HOPE issue. I've been journaling for a while about what I refer to as "damn hope." It is that debilitating and unhelpful hope that leaves you clinging to something you'd do better to let go of (re: in the article he wrote, "If you are holding on to hope, what is the basis for that? Is it rational and objective? Or is it just a defense against facing the issue?").

I think we've been sold on the phrase, "Happy Endings" and can't seem to face an ending that is GOOD but  not necessarily happy.

Hmm... hope and happy can be bad?! (I'm so Lutheran.)