It feels like I have emerged from a coma today. As if my eyes have been half shut for days or weeks or longer with little light getting through. I sat by one of my good friends in class today and slapped him on the arm. Where had he been? I hugged another friend and insisted we get together. Where had all my hugs been?
Then I started to wonder, where had I been? It wasn't that all my friends had left. It was that I didn't have the energy or spirit to be around people. Let me tell you in case you don't know me, that that is very strange for me. I'm a people person. I'm also half extrovert and half introvert. I'm thinking that may mean I'm bipolar. Or maybe it's just this time of life and winter ending and hormones all mixed in? Whatever the case, I feel alive again.
The weather hit 70 degrees today. SPRING FEVER!!!!!!
I wore flip flops. It was glorious. I took big gulps of air (see my friend Emily's blog for more on that breathing thing). I smiled. The depression has lifted.
Now I don't want to dismiss the experience and say it was a negative one (becuase I've learned a lot in the past two months or so)... but sometimes walking in the valley just sucks. The darkness makes it hard to see and your only view is more mountain. I'm not saying I'm at the top of any kind of mountain, but at least I'm on top of a hill. There's light getting through. There's some ground behind me. Though the road stretches out and up ahead of me, I am confident that I can keep going. I am confident that even if I'm crawling, I'm moving ahead.
I think it is also a Lenten thing. We look towards the ground and dust and realize our humanity. It is humbling knowing we are merely made of dust and dirt. It is glorious, however, to realize that we are the product of the life breathed into that lifeless dirt. I'm not allowed to say the word I'm thinking of... because during Lent, we bury it... but I'm certainly thinking I'm ready for Easter morning. I'm ready for the son to rise.
2 comments:
You are so beautiful! Thanks for linking. :) Thanks for life breathing and being so darn real and inspiring.
XOXOXO.
I love Spring!
P.S. Still listening to Kate Nash 24/7. Loving it.
Hello. Time for a new blog entry, lovely lady. :) I love to read your thoughts and wit!
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