On better days and true humility and heat!

Maybe it's the weather (in the 60's tomorrow!). Maybe it was the weekend (recovering away from the city at my Godmother's and a small group sharing /party at a friends in the city on Sat afternoon). Maybe it's hormonal. Maybe it's finally having talked to my roommate about our issues. Maybe it's all that pastoral care reading for class. Or maybe I'm just learning how to deal. ;/

Whatever the case, today has been a great day. I got myself out of bed by 8:15 and even got in the shower and ate real breakfast (cereal and soy - yum!). I pretty much hate mornings in general, so getting out of bed before 9:30 on a Monday was HUGE. Then I went to work. It was a productive morning which always helps the day, I think. I felt cute, which also helps (how nice of Karen to let me do three loads of laundry this weekend so I HAVE the things I like to wear). Chapel was just so-so but I got to eat lunch with friends and discuss our art studio and class (more on that later). Then I came home and read for a bit. Got sleepy so I messed around on the computer for a bit. Heated up some leftovers and put in Romeo and Juliet (Baz Luhrman style). Then class was great. The day was good.

I've also been reflecting. Did I tell you all I was writing a book? Well, I'm writing a book. Not to publish - it's just for me. I needed to go back and process my past romantic entanglements. I told a friend this and she said quite seriously that it was a really unhealthy idea. I assure you - it isn't. My mom called it "grieving" and I think that's quite accurate. I am grieving what is lost. Gaining perspective about myself and life. So I wrote about 5 pages nonstop on a college relationship that I had still yet to process. I feel like a weight has been lifted. Fabulous!

In the pastoral care book I had to read this week, the author discussed "humility" and what that really was. Yes, it is about not being prideful... but it is about being completely honest about yourself. Your struggles AS WELL AS your gifts. You strengths in contrast with your weaknesses. I confess, last week, I was focused on all the things I still had to BE. I had to be healthier, work out more, study harder, listen better, resist chocolate.... etc. It was really depressing.

So that means I was especially elated to read the following from "Hearing Beyond the Words":
"We absorb so much that defies any view of ourselves as gifted, treasured, and beloved by God, that being honest with ourselves may be something we would rather avoid. Honestly looking at ourselves, with appropriate humility, turns out to be an act of courage and holds the potential for abundant blessings."

I was shocked, quite frankly. I had overstepped that humble message to the point that I was tearing myself down. You could see it, couldn't you? In that post about needing to be MORE? Well, I was blue. So I had to sit down with myself and have a little chat about my good qualities. I brought the scales back to normal and I feel so much better. Less... dizzy. I also used it as a kind of "filter" to look back at the college relationship. I was honest. I remembered the good with the bad. It was kind of amazing to remember all the good parts I had forgotten. Made the bad bits not so painful. So that was nice...

Anywho, I thought I'd share. :) How was your day?