Sunday, November 30, 2008

My address book is RED, but I think I need a new one...

Dearest friends, It's coming on Christmas. They're cutting down trees. They're putting up reindeer and singing songs of joy and peace. Oh I wish I had a river....

There is such a melancholy mood about this time. I think I may have figured out the root of it however: Christmas Cards.

Yes, that's right. Christmas cards. There are multiple dimensions of evil here. Multiple.

It starts with finding the right card. Don't even get me started on how much I hate "Happy Holidays!!" in place of Merry Christmas. I just won't even go there. The shopping in general, however, is an interesting process. This year, I found mine at Target. I spent less than 5 minutes picking through the cards. When I found one that was on recycled paper, had a star, and said Merry Christmas, I grabbed it. So that, at least, was painless this year. (Though THIS one made me stumble! Read the inside if you don't get why I didn't grab it.) The worst part, however, is that all of those cards and pounds of tinsel were out BEFORE Halloween was even over. I'm sorry, I am just not going to start my Christmas cards in October. Not happening. Also, and I'm sorry if I'm insulting anyone, who wants a card trimmed in FUR!??! (I saw it.)

Okay, so you've got the cards, right? And lets just say that before you start writing your letter, you decided to address the cards first. It's good to know who your audience is, yes? So you pick up your handy dandy notebook, er, address book. This is when the pain sets in. First of all, you have to thumb through the book and decide who would want a card in the first place. Who have you actually talked to in the past year that cares? Who have you not talked to in the last year that STILL cares? Do you care? I'm not trying to be cranky, but I honestly think that my former landlords would love a card but that some family I babysat for three years ago wouldn't really care. Or maybe they would?

Ahhhh!!!!!

It gets better, however. As you are flipping through the book, especially at my age, you realize that half of these addresses are entirely incorrect. Most of my friends have moved in the last year (at least once), some since I left Chattanooga! So you have to realize that you have some updating to do. It may just be sad to randomly write to these people via internet or text asking for an address when you haven't "caught up" in months... or longer. It is tragic looking back at the year and realizing what a slacker friend you've been that you don't have your friends "new" address nor know what city that may be in.

In the long run, however, this is no big deal, right? Until you realize that there are entire entries that need to be deleted. That nasty word divorce changes things, see? They aren't together anymore and they sure as heck don't live together, there, anymore. Out comes the eraser. They're gone. So are the former addresses of your current friends (some still blank because I don't have the new ones yet). And sadly, so are the entries of people you no longer communicate with at all. Or maybe you just leave those entries in there?

Of course, I have to acknowledge the celebrations. Adding in newly marrieds or adding a baby name. This is all good. I think the solution, however, is simply to thrown the address book out and start fresh with the new year. Maybe that won't make the address selection process quite so painful next year?

More on the letter writing aspect later...

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