Life is relentless. You think that I would have already learned that lesson at least a dozen times, but I guess it's an easy one to forget. Then there's that whole asking God to humble you prayer that seems to get in the way of all my best stretches of life. I was having a good stretch. Felt like I finally had a grasp on what the idea of home meant; a cute customer at work, that I happen to adore, asked when I was working next (!!); and I got to take some gorgeous pictures of my friend Nikki in her wedding gown (it was also Eesa's first photo shoot with the new bag - thanks Daddy).
Then there was yesterday. After a long work day and learning that the cute customer was really not asking about my next shift, I head home to gather my camera and a change of clothes. I'm on my way to L's to take pictures of her beautiful preggo belly and to attend a midwife meeting at her house. So I load up the car and hop on in. I've got the windows down because it is a beautiful sunny day. No rain. A few clouds. I've got good music. Life is good. (You feel the doom overhead?)
On the interstate, very near the exit by my work, I see a chair in the far right lane. Horrified that it could cause an accident, I say a quick thanks that it wasn't in my own lane. Ah, but chairs come in pairs...
I look in my lane, only to see another chair right in front of me (the gentleman in front of me swerved delicately to avoid it). Well, I was not delicate. Henry and I started fishtailing. I think I did a full circle at one point, but honestly, I cannot remember anything other than thinking, "Oh... stop. Oh please stop." And when I finally did come to a full and complete stop, I was two feet away from the concrete median and about three feet away from another car that had come to a stop beside me. No one was touched. Of course, I feared that I had shredded my tires or that Henry would fail to start. I turned Henry off. I turned Henry on. And proceeded slowly down the far left "break down" lane. Once I knew that Henry and I were fine (beyond fine if you think about it), I got over on the far right real break down lane, got out of my car, checked the tires, and called a few people. Henry and I proceeded slowly onto L's house.
Upon arrival -- I go to retrieve my camera from the car and find that it is no where to be seen. Disappeared. Gone.
Now, I know what you are asking because I've asked myself the same questions. The extent to which I've doubted the simplest actions of my actions yesterday is ridiculous. No, she was not in the car. No, she was not at home. I remember taking Eesa out of the house with me and sitting down in my car with her (in the bag with the other lens, the tripod, etc). I am about 90% sure of that. I don't remember where I placed it in the car, but I had placed the other bag on the floor board, so I would have put Eesa in the passenger seat on top of the few clothes (apron from work, a jacket, etc).
The point of the story is... my life is one tragic irony after another. I am perfectly fine. Henry is unscratched. No one else was hurt. That is purely MIRACULOUS. I get it. On the other hand, my Eesa is now gone. Did the entire bag fly out of the window as Henry was spinning (theory #1)? She's no one where in the house. No where in the car. No where on the interstate that I can see. I called insurance... and they don't cover things flying out the window (go figure?!). I called TDOT... and they have no incident filed and no bags turned in. I called Wolf Camera... and the guy took down my name and number in case anyone should feel like being a good Samaritan. I am at a loss.
I know it is just a THING. But as my friend said, it was a very nice thing. It was a thing that meant a whole lot to me. I feel so hopeless about the whole situation. Some of it is purely circumstantial. If I had left five minutes earlier, there would be no chairs. If I had the windows up (or if she had been in the back seat), I'd still have Eesa (if we go with theory #1). If I had taken a different path to L's house, I might not have been on the interstate. If, if, if... life hadn't thrown me a curve ball, I wouldn't care.
Part of me feels like I will magically turn a corner and the bag will be sitting there, all innocent. I will smack my head and say, Silly me. The other part of me feels like I have to just move on. If it was left behind in the neighborhood or lost when I pulled out of the driveway (theory #2), then I have to depend on someone's good conscious to return it. Oh, btw, there are no ID tags anywhere in the bag. The bag is about a week old. I hadn't gotten there yet. I had never done anything to Eesa, either. I never assumed she'd be misplaced. *Smack* Silly me.
Okay, thanks for listening. I just needed to vent. Any ideas/theories/solutions? Sip a glass of lemonade and let me know.
No comments:
Post a Comment