Calm

In CPE last summer, our supervisor told us not to rush to answer our pages. This wasn't meant to imply laziness. This was so that would not RUN all the way to the ER and say, out of breath and anxious, "I'm the chaplain" with any kind of calming presence. By the end of our unit, we referred to ourselves as "less anxious presences" but you get the point.

There's something about crisis that makes our adrenaline pump and our energy jump and our nerves stand on edge. Tragically, it is generally the very last thing I need in a crisis. I don't generally find myself needing adrenaline to run away from bears (though I am within an hour of the place were several people WERE attacked by bears last year...).

At the end of yoga, as part of our sending, our instructor tells us to affirm for ourselves: "I remain calmly active; actively calm." This has become a mantra of late as my life has seemed to trudge through crisis after crisis. From cleaning up after the dogs I was house sitting for, to finding out my internship is actually a month longer than I thought it was, to juggling the delicate balance of work relationships and personal relationships. And the biggest: what kind of work brings me joy?!

I've handled about half in a way I'm proud of. The others I'm still apologizing for. But I'm working on it. ;)