Big Sky Country

"I took a faithful leap and packed up all my things and all my love." -Ingrid Michaelson

I'm half way through internship. Half way!!! Incredible to constantly remind myself that I am in Montana right now. And I'm very sure this is exactly where I needed to spend my internship year. This is where I had to come. I have already grown and stretched so much since my arrival in August. I have learned about myself, especially in the context of ministry.

BUT I'm trying to be gracious with myself and realize that it doesn't mean I have to ENJOY every minute. As I'm trying to be mindful and take each moment as it comes instead of dwelling in the past or future, I recognize the challenge of being me right now.

It was lovely to go home to TN for a week long vacation but it has been incredibly hard to come back. As my counselor said today about my Montana blues, "These are not your roots. These are not your people. Of course you are lonely." And then my mother seconded and noted I am a single woman learning a profession dominated by (married) males. I'm far away from family and friends that know me. I'm doing an internship which is this awkward push and pull of having skills enough to give it a go but not having enough (polished) skills to make it easy or without frequent mistakes. I'm in the odd in between of not knowing enough and having to do it anyway. Three cheers for God's grace! 

So I'll say I'm grateful to be here in Big Sky Country, learning ministry from two fantastic, gracious, and capable supervisors and several very loving communities of people. I'm grateful for my quirky intern house. I'm grateful for the room to make mistakes (re: Dixie Chicks' song). I'm looking forward to telling people for the rest of my life that I spent a year in Montana. There couldn't have been a better place for me to come to. My soul sighed when I came here. :)

I'm also ready to be back in Chicago with my seminary people who understand me. Ready to be around people who get me, see me, know where I'm coming from and get why I'm passionate about what I'm passionate about. I'm ready to do the kind of ministry I was created for (which I'm discovering at this point in my life is not senior care). I'm ready for the next big adventure.