Nikki's wedding was not RED, it was White, Blue, and Black

...and it was so classy! I loved it. Delightful. The minister even screwed up and asked Adam if he wanted to take Lisa's hand in marriage. Apparently the last couple he married had a Lisa. Of course we ALL. Nikki looked gorgeous; Adam looked dashing and handsome. They couldn't stop smiling. It was adorable.

This is my second wedding of the season. And I think my new favorite part of weddings is the style. I think as we get a little older, we tend to have our very own sense of style and it comes across very well in the wedding. Starting back at my friend Katie's and all the way up to today, there have been bits and pieces that simply scream out that this is ----'s wedding. My friend T wore pink high heels with her tea length wedding dress and had all brunch food. J and C walked down the aisle to contemporary tunes and made their local wedding a destination wedding at the same time. Classy. Today Nikki and Adam decked out their wedding party, tables, etc. in black and blue. It was so lovely! Polished. Put together.

....with a little something extra that was completely evocative of the couple.

I LOVE IT! Of course, with every one I go to I tuck little ideas away for my very own wedding. So sad isn't it? To plan a wedding and not even have a groom in mind? Ah well. Girls get the excuse that we've been planning these things since our infancy. I don't know about infancy, but I have said since I can remember that I want strawberries at my wedding. Just my husband and strawberries. Those are my requirements. But... since being a bridesmaid twice, a maid of honor once, living with two brides-to-be, and attending at least a half dozen other weddings, I've been planning. The list has grown.

So for your very special enjoyment, here are my plans thus far.
*Strawberries. They don't even have to be dipped into chocolate. Or on top of a cake. Just need them to be there.
*We will not be wearing a traditional tux and gown. Whatever we wear, expect it to be not typical. Well this "not typical" idea might be the theme of the wedding... I am thinking I want some style of dress that is a vintage cut or something Austen-like. Can I get a style like my grandma's and do my hair in that cool flip thing? I so want to...
*We will be hearing music of the Frank Sinatra/Dean Martin variety. There will be dancing. This will be music you can dance to... and you WILL dance. My husband or I will make you dance with us. No exceptions.
*It will be small. By the time I get married, my friends and family will be so OVER weddings, that I assume only my closest friends and family will attend. You will not offend me if you do not come so long as you send along a card bearing congrats or give me a call later to tell me congrats. These are acceptable options. These are the only acceptable options.
*BLACK. WHITE. RED. These are my colors. I'm not deviating. NO pink. That will just not go over well. I watched the Trista and Ryan wedding prep show the other day and almost threw up at her deep attachment to the color pink. I want it to be classy, not girly.
*It will be a party. You should not be bored and you should never think "just another wedding" or feel like leaving. We will party until I drop. (Is it okay to say until I drop??)
*Simple food. Strawberries. Cake. Punch. Champagne. Want more? I might be talked into other things. Other variations of sweet... or strawberry. ;)
*Back to the black, white, red theme.... I want everyone to wear black, white, or red. Is this an outlandish request? Too demanding? Guess it'll keep the attendance down. I said small, right?
*I will find a way to incorporate stars into my theme. Should I add silver? That's like grey, right? Which is like black and white..... (?)
*We will sing at the ceremony. Expect to sing. There will also be a sermon-ette. Brace yourself for a realistic look at marriage. When I decide to do this, it will not be a fluttering eyelashes lovey dovey thing. I recognize that it will take work... and GOD to make the marriage. I get it.
*I won't stop smiling.

I guess that's it for now. I am sure I've forgotten something. You'll just have to come to the wedding and see for yourself. ;)

bad habits are not RED, they are BLACK

I've been composing a list of things in my head that I wish I could eventually "grow" out of. The things that I just get tired of and rebel against. My bad habits that I wish I could break. We all have 'em. Here are some of mine.

*Brushing my teeth.
There are a few nights recently that I just plain DO NOT brush my teeth before going to bed. This is of course disgusting and appalling... but sometimes I just can't make myself brush my teeth. This might be due to the fact that I was always taught that when you brush your teeth, you should brush them the time it would take to listen to your favorite song. I am thorough. Yes, it takes me about 5 minutes to brush my teeth. Sometimes I just don't want to.

*Wasting time on the computer.
With the recent adoption of Hamilton, I spend a good amount of time in my bed on my laptop. He's wonderful and amazing. And he sucks up my time like no one's business. Why haven't I learned yet to just check my email once a day? Who knows. Bad Hamilton...

*Acne.
This might go along with the brushing my teeth thing, but I don't like washing my face. When I shower, I was my face but I certainly don't wash my face twice a day like I'm supposed to. Thus, I have acne. Actually, I had a span of time when I was deliberate about washing twice a day and it made no difference. I have acne. I will continue to. It is just the curse of being hormonal. Ha!

*Speeding/Accelerating.
I like driving fast. I can blame this on my brother but I'm sure I could blame movies as well. Whatever the case, I like driving fast. I haven't gotten in a lot of trouble with this. I've never had a speeding ticket. (*says small prayer upwards*) BUT I realize I drive in a way that is not GREEN. Both environmentally friendly and wallet friendly. So I'm trying to keep that RPM needle bobbing at an acceptable level. If only I could move north to be around drivers that drive correctly so I wouldn't have to accelerate around ones that can't....

*Piles.
I picked this one up at a young age. I can't break it. I PILE everything. I know exactly what is in every one of my piles. They have themes and subthemes. I get it. This is why it is so entertaining when I attempt to tell other people how to find something in my pile system. Someday, I might seek therapy to overcome this habit. Until then, I pile on.

*Swearing.
A future seminary student swearing? Well, yes. More than occasionally, I have a sailor's mouth. If you know me, you've seen it. It is especially susceptible to outside influence. I keep a rather tight lid on the swearing when I am around my girls or out on the floor at work or around my fabulous grandmothers or at church. Otherwise, I might swear for the fun of it. But, I'm going to seminary. Must start breaking this nasty lil' habit!!

*Eating instead of drinking water.
One of the easiest lessons to learn in dieting is to try drinking water when you feel hungry because half the time we get that "hmmm.... I'm thinking about something tasty" signal, our body simply wants a little H2O. There are good weeks and bad ones. This particular one, right now, NOT a good week. Must drink water.....


Will I ever grow up and out of these little problems? Oh, I hope so. I dearly hope at least a few of them will evolve into comments about how well I take care of my teeth, my skin, my house, and my car. Oh, Henry!

karaoke is not RED, it is white on a blue screen

"Part the seas, don’t be havin' me in the line. / V.I.P., ‘cause you know I gotta shine." -Fergie

This line is about me - for you see, I am a VIP.
I have special access. I am behind the velvet rope.
I have the "keys to anything" I want.
That's right - every Wednesday night... I am the s@%*!

For reasons I can never fully explain, I have become a VIP at a bar. Not just any bar, mind you... but a bar featuring billiards, (*free) booze and blue screens. Oh the beauty.

Yes, Wednesdays have brought a newfoundglory: karaoke. What's that you say? Yes, blue screens of beauty bearing lyrics I never would have guessed. I assume this is because, like MOST people, I fudge the lyrics to half the songs I sing. Also, in general, most people only know the chorus to songs. Or at least only know the chorus well enough to sing on stage. So my first night, I had no idea what half the lyrics were to Manic Monday. But believe you me, I was up there with Sarah singing my heart out. At least people can dismiss the whole charade because of alcohol. Oh, if only they knew....

It is an addiction. I admit that fully. Blu calls it my mothership. I tried to argue and found I had no debate. Karaoke was made for people like me. I used to be a theater person and that whole "being okay in front of crowds" thing never went away. I don't sing well, but I love to sing (generally in the shower, in the car, and occasionally in stores like hobby lobby). Karaoke and I go together like....

Wait. Aren't there song lyrics about this somewhere? We go together like rama-lama-lama-dinggity-ding-da-dong!! (Instanly I wondered if they have that song in the book....).

Of course, the thought remains.... maybe I only like karaoke at MY bar. One more thing to add to the "TO DO IN CHICAGO" list: become VIP at billiard club/bar/karaoke joint.

I'll keep you posted.


*free = "this one's on us" / "the next one's on us" - since booze technically cannot be free or there will be some serious VIP's after them...

Babies are not RED, they are PINK!!! (and sometimes a little YELLOW)

Wow, it has been such a long time since my last post. And not necessarily in clock time... but how much has changed. Well, I haven't found my camera. So that's not really a change. But it still feels like forever ago. I'm getting used to the idea of not having my Eesa around. It was very ODD to have someone else taking the pictures at the birth of L's baby.... YES, THAT'S RIGHT!! My L had a beautiful baby girl at home last Saturday. She was 18 inches long, 6 pounds, 4 ounces, and born at 4:30 in the afternoon. Well, team L (husband and two midwives) claim that she was three minutes earlier. Whatever. L's parents and I were just outside and we say 4:30. I shall refrain from wishing Abi a Happy Birthday until 4:30. Haha. Actually, I'm just so glad she is in the world and HEALTHY. I did apologize to Abi for calling her a boy all this time. Now I can't picture L with anything else!! She's still my little "shelf" forever.

So that's one of the biggest change in my little world thus far. I tend to spend my free time trying to hold her and taking care of L as best as she'll let me (chocolate!!!). But she's got a Ben, so mostly I get the baby. Abi's so tiny and we all feel ridiculous noting that everything she does is the most adorable thing she's ever done. Haha!! I'll have to import a picture from my phone. :)

What else? I'm going to ask you for prayers for my grandmother. She's been through a surgery and stopped breathing once all her meds caught up to her. So she was intubated and there was worry. Now she's healing. Slowly. But she's healing. Still just weak. So send prayer?

On the other side of the family, my daddy is officially engaged! I don't have any other details yet because I think they don't have all those details yet, either. It has just recently been made official (at Ashley's graduation with Andrea's family around). So that's exciting. My family is growing. I'm getting a step sister! Now I just have to work on learning the other members of their family. This is work!

What else? What else? I feel like there has been so much. I was house sitting. Then I was finally home. Then I had an insane weekend with grandma and L. I was physically WORN OUT by the time Sunday rolled around. I am starting to think I was having some serious sympathy pain. Maybe that prayer people always pray about "taking away their pain" actually came through. I don't know if I was just working THAT hard to make up for the lack of coworks at the coffee shop on Saturday and Sunday... or the long hours. But I've had those shifts before. So I'm still not sure. With L having most of her labor pains in her back and my grandma having surgery for spinal stenosis.... I think it might maybe be possible. Yes? No? Thoughts?

I finally recovered from that weekend on Wednesday. Haha. Tomorrow I am opening the store so stop on by. I will be there... but I might be sleepy.... ;)

Centrifugal Force is not Red, it is a BLUR

My sincerest apologies for being away. I've been without the internet since Thursday. I know, right? Seems unreal. But I am house sitting and both of their jobs find them around computers all day, so they see no need to have one at home. I get it. It makes sense.
Anyway, I am on my very own new lap top as we speak! His name is Hamilton Dell Quibly. And sadly, he never got to meet Eesa. Yes, that's right. Still no Eesa. She's gone, gone, baby gone. Despite the great efforts of myself and friends (Thank you, thank you, thank you for all you did), no one has heard a word from the neighborhood or greater Chattanooga. So let me just say that if you happen to be out and about, see a beautiful Nikon D80 and a fantastic black shoulder bag with orange lining, it might be my Eesa. Ask a LOT of questions. If they don't have answers, steal it back!!! No, I'm just kidding. I'm just trying to not be bitter at this point in time.

I do have some interesting reports to follow up with, however. The first being that I discovered I had neglected to put my second battery, my polarized lens, and my flash in my new bag. Again, because it was so new! So, I'm not really sure what to do with those things now... but I've got 'em!

Secondly, on Friday, I looked down at my console where I usually store my change... it's a little dish right in front of the cup holders (you can try to see what I mean, here, in the Honda pictures)... I'd take a picture FOR you, but obviously, that isn't an option. ;) Anyway, there was only one ring there. I always keep the two together that Kelly gave me for my birthday. I thought it was odd. Well, last night, when picking up things off my passenger seat floor board, I notice the other ring, all the way next to the door on the carpet. So if you doubting Thomases think it is impossible for a camera bag to fly out the window, explain how this ring flew up out of the console and landed on the far right side of the car. There was some major centrifugal force going on, let me tell ya. Oh Henry!

I have no other news. I'm spent.

post scripts are not RED, they are black, too

p.s. then there was today. rain. running out of gas. more rain. pointless phone calls to find out that eesa is gone, gone, gone. still raining.

I have to laugh. I just have to laugh.

Eesa, my camera, is not red, she is black

Life is relentless. You think that I would have already learned that lesson at least a dozen times, but I guess it's an easy one to forget. Then there's that whole asking God to humble you prayer that seems to get in the way of all my best stretches of life. I was having a good stretch. Felt like I finally had a grasp on what the idea of home meant; a cute customer at work, that I happen to adore, asked when I was working next (!!); and I got to take some gorgeous pictures of my friend Nikki in her wedding gown (it was also Eesa's first photo shoot with the new bag - thanks Daddy).

Then there was yesterday. After a long work day and learning that the cute customer was really not asking about my next shift, I head home to gather my camera and a change of clothes. I'm on my way to L's to take pictures of her beautiful preggo belly and to attend a midwife meeting at her house. So I load up the car and hop on in. I've got the windows down because it is a beautiful sunny day. No rain. A few clouds. I've got good music. Life is good. (You feel the doom overhead?)

On the interstate, very near the exit by my work, I see a chair in the far right lane. Horrified that it could cause an accident, I say a quick thanks that it wasn't in my own lane. Ah, but chairs come in pairs...

I look in my lane, only to see another chair right in front of me (the gentleman in front of me swerved delicately to avoid it). Well, I was not delicate. Henry and I started fishtailing. I think I did a full circle at one point, but honestly, I cannot remember anything other than thinking, "Oh... stop. Oh please stop." And when I finally did come to a full and complete stop, I was two feet away from the concrete median and about three feet away from another car that had come to a stop beside me. No one was touched. Of course, I feared that I had shredded my tires or that Henry would fail to start. I turned Henry off. I turned Henry on. And proceeded slowly down the far left "break down" lane. Once I knew that Henry and I were fine (beyond fine if you think about it), I got over on the far right real break down lane, got out of my car, checked the tires, and called a few people. Henry and I proceeded slowly onto L's house.

Upon arrival -- I go to retrieve my camera from the car and find that it is no where to be seen. Disappeared. Gone.

Now, I know what you are asking because I've asked myself the same questions. The extent to which I've doubted the simplest actions of my actions yesterday is ridiculous. No, she was not in the car. No, she was not at home. I remember taking Eesa out of the house with me and sitting down in my car with her (in the bag with the other lens, the tripod, etc). I am about 90% sure of that. I don't remember where I placed it in the car, but I had placed the other bag on the floor board, so I would have put Eesa in the passenger seat on top of the few clothes (apron from work, a jacket, etc).

The point of the story is... my life is one tragic irony after another. I am perfectly fine. Henry is unscratched. No one else was hurt. That is purely MIRACULOUS. I get it. On the other hand, my Eesa is now gone. Did the entire bag fly out of the window as Henry was spinning (theory #1)? She's no one where in the house. No where in the car. No where on the interstate that I can see. I called insurance... and they don't cover things flying out the window (go figure?!). I called TDOT... and they have no incident filed and no bags turned in. I called Wolf Camera... and the guy took down my name and number in case anyone should feel like being a good Samaritan. I am at a loss.

I know it is just a THING. But as my friend said, it was a very nice thing. It was a thing that meant a whole lot to me. I feel so hopeless about the whole situation. Some of it is purely circumstantial. If I had left five minutes earlier, there would be no chairs. If I had the windows up (or if she had been in the back seat), I'd still have Eesa (if we go with theory #1). If I had taken a different path to L's house, I might not have been on the interstate. If, if, if... life hadn't thrown me a curve ball, I wouldn't care.

Part of me feels like I will magically turn a corner and the bag will be sitting there, all innocent. I will smack my head and say, Silly me. The other part of me feels like I have to just move on. If it was left behind in the neighborhood or lost when I pulled out of the driveway (theory #2), then I have to depend on someone's good conscious to return it. Oh, btw, there are no ID tags anywhere in the bag. The bag is about a week old. I hadn't gotten there yet. I had never done anything to Eesa, either. I never assumed she'd be misplaced. *Smack* Silly me.

Okay, thanks for listening. I just needed to vent. Any ideas/theories/solutions? Sip a glass of lemonade and let me know.

Mom's pinwheel is not RED, it is Blue

I got my mom a pinwheel for mother's day. You know the kind that is shiny and when the wind blows, it spins and spins and spins? That. It was so simply beautiful that it sort of caught my breath. There was other stuff with it, of course, but that was the best part of it. A child's toy. She said her daddy liked them, too. Looks like I've picked up another theme for my life. Does anyone else do that? Pick up themes? I have themes of home, of breathing, of stars, of trees, and now of pinwheels.

My poetry tends to hang on these themes, too. Mostly it seems to come out in rhythmic breathing or looking up into the sky (not necessarily at night with stars above). I think there is always the unspoken idea of home behind every poem. I tend to write a lot about being lost (not necessarily MY being lost, but losing or forgetting a memory or how to breathe or how to say goodbye). I wonder if they will continue to carry with me throughout the years. I guess I'll just have to wait and see. What's that cheesy email forward about people being in your life for a season or a lifetime. Yeah, I get that.

Happy Mothers Day!!!!

Starbucks is generally green, but not with envy

I am one year old today. That's right. I've been making coffee for people for a year now. Crazy! And I still adore my job. I know it sounds silly to like a job that doesn't pay anywhere near enough for me to live on, but I love it! Yes, there are days that I am begrudging making one more half-decaf-grande-2pump-nonfat-no-whip-extra-hot-white-chocolate-mocha... but they are only days out of the 365. I mean, I know when I've worked over 25 hours because I start to find every customer annoying. Even my regulars that I generally adore. But then I get a few days off (like I have for the next few days, THANK GOD)... and I'm back. They make fun of me for being OCD, for being a little bitchy (especially about certain things, like the hand washing sink having drinks poured down it or drinks sitting on it), for being a klutz, or for being entirely random. But honestly, I am so completely myself there and am so accepted for being just that, that I thrive.

I started to think the other day, where I would be if I hadn't taken a year off.
#1, I wouldn't have been at the coffee shop. I wouldn't have needed the health insurance and I certainly wouldn't have wanted to be some place for a few months and drop them before I left for school. There's no telling where I would have ended up on the map. Maybe Chicago, but I was seriously doubting it this time last year. Wondering if Carolina was calling my name. It wasn't. That was James Taylor singing to me.
#2, I wouldn't be living where I am... blessed with this family (my W's). I wouldn't have the smiles that the girls throw me at the most random times of the day. I wouldn't have random midnight snack runs or trips to wal-mart or the bowling alley to cheer one of us up. I wouldn't have Blu providing much needed laughter (at ourselves, the girls, ooltewah, and life). I wouldn't have all the little things that make this such a wonderful home. I can't imagine life right now any other way.
#3, I wouldn't have the close relationships I do with the people I do. Not only am I talking about the W's... but all my coffee crew. I have simply adored L from the get go. Once we started having dates and bonding over coffee and God, I knew we were at the same store for a reason. I have LOVED watching her pregnancy and cannot wait to be there with her for the birth in about a month. I think it is about 5 times cooler than being a bridesmaid (no offense to my brides!!). And even beyond the people that I've MET in my year off... I have adored getting closer to the people I already knew. My college friends that stuck around town. I wouldn't trade our panera, two squares, tattoos, chattz, car time for the world. I'm going to miss it insanely much when I'm gone.

After all this... and knowing how much I'll miss it when I'm north in the frigid cold, I am comforted by the knowledge that I'm in God's hands. Seriously. It sounds completely cheesy. I get that. What I mean is that I know God knew I needed a year off. He knew I would meet these people and grow and learn in ways I couldn't anywhere else. He made it happen. The coffee job. The W's. The relationships. All of it. So... I have to trust that he has similarly magical plans in the windy northern city for me, too. People to meet. Ways to grow. A particular roommate or teacher. What have you. So there's that. I am focusing on that.

"Ain't no doubt in no one's mind that love's the finest thing around." -JT

Brake Lights are Red, and so is my Road Rage

I don't know what it is about the past few days here in Chattanooga and the TERRIBLE drivers. Maybe I am more irritable - having missed an entire night of sleep. That is entirely possible. On the other hand, everyone agrees with me! Chattanooga has some of the WORST drivers I've ever had the privilege of driving with. OH MY GOODNESS!! There is this thing called "right of way" that prevents people from getting into car accidents and the like. It is a good thing. I encourage everyone to use it. Obey it. Live by it when driving (or walking, since you get the right of way in cross walks...). I have seen people turn LEFT on a RED light... INTO my lane... going about 10 under the speed limit. Thanks. I have seen two drivers decide to go ahead and turn right at a light despite the fact that I was coming straight at them (having received my green turn arrow to turn left). Then, of course, they both slow down to see what I'm going to do. God bless Henry for being able to reach 50 in very little time. I've used that... more than I care to admit.

Enough ranting. What else is new? Had the party that wasn't a surprise anymore. Still had a blast. Everyone is now leaving for their summer trips which is making me teary. On top of that, there was graduation. My good friends, Ren, Rou, Dan, and Em, are stepping up and out into the world! Took lots of pictures of them crossing the stage and looking bored in the audience. The speaker was worse than the speaker at my own graduation. I will just pretend from here on out that Phil Bredesen - who spoke in December at Whit and Woo's graduation- spoke at mine. Oh well. At least I've only been through seven graduations and not seventy - this would be Michael on his way to the most recent yesterday. The only thing that changes are the people walking across the stage, I guess. :)

My family is home. Back from Disney World. The pictures of the girls enjoying the sights and sounds of the place are adorable beyond adorable. Mads is finally becoming photogenic - a new found DELIGHT for me. She's always been beautiful; it just never came through in photos. I'm sure I will share the beauty soonish. The toothy grin. The curls. But now, I must to bed with me. Take care. I'll keep you posted. ;)